Salongate

Absolute governments, (though the disgrace of human nature,) have this advantage with them that they are simple; if the people suffer, they know the head from which their suffering springs, know likewise the remedy, and are not bewildered by a variety of causes and curses.  - Thomas Paine

Our HOA president has, in the words of our building manager, "gone rogue". She was a 1 woman show from the start but the owners only just noticed, because she's crossed the line.  She's messed with the Castle's decor and has roused the weary occupants like great trolls that till recently had been stone. No one owns a Castle Green unit or several who isn't obsessed with its aesthetics. Some of us have art degrees, some of us have dollhouses, but we all care.

Marilyn's reign over the homeowners association and seemingly their souls is new, but she isn't new to the castle. She is heir to the Thomas Paine Society, the secret society in the castle's basement. She inherited the society and its offices from one Larry Swartz, described by her as "a great man" and by others who remember as "The Slum Lord". He owned land on what was then the wrong side of the tracks, where according to a 1970s article from the LA Times he rented to the destitute  (primarily those "of color") and performed minimal maintenance. When the opportunity came to replace this neighborhood with the 210 freeway, he sold.

With the money from this sale he bought into the castle, several units. Marilyn first comes into the oral (snicker) history now. Marilyn is an attractive woman now so it's a good bet she was then. The story goes that it was she who encouraged the aging Larry Swartz to found the Thomas Paine Society.

The society was founded in 1994. The LA Times in a 2001 article about Castle Green says this "...Larry Swartz--who died in May--organized the society in honor of the Revolutionary War-era pamphleteer, a crusader for free speech. The society has existed for years--but, as far as anyone can guess, there was no membership roll, and no one ever held a meeting." In other words, the society never held a meeting in his lifetime.

Why the society was founded is a matter of debate. Was it to provide a job for Marilyn? Was it to give the elderly Larry Swartz a sense of accomplishment? Was it a historical front for Marilyn's crusade to legalize Marijuana? Thomas Paine was after all a free thinker. How this ties in specifically with Marijuana I don't know, it's a bit of a stretch.

So what was Marilyn's sway over the alleged slumlord turned champion of political philosophy? I don't know. He was old and she was significantly younger and attractive. The castle holds that she was Larry Swartz's mistress, but in a vision I saw that all that ever happened was she showed him her breasts. I cannot describe her breasts from this vision, nor can I say how it came to me.

Vicious rumors circulated that Marilyn hastened Larry Swartz's death, that he had emphysema and she encouraged him to smoke out. I don't believe there was malicious intent here. I think at most there was merely a failure to connect the dots. With strong beliefs sometimes comes denial. Or perhaps she was an early proponent of Medical Marijuana.

Upon inheriting the society at Larry Swartz's death, Marilyn sold off like silverware his remaining Castle Green units, leaving only the unsalable basement office which is the Thomas Paine Society's office today.

We're brought up to the present day. Until now consigned to the basement, Marilyn came upstairs and into her own when our building manager, Feb, recruited her for the board. Feb may have known better, but she forgot in eagerness to put the board in strong hands, hands that could wrest the bi-annual tour away from the Friends of Castle Green. Feb had grown attached to the tour and wanted to run it free of its founders' interference.

Marilyn was elected board president by its new, weak, and skyping members. The story has it she appointed herself then assigned treasurer, secretary and vice president like choosing a team. As Feb had hoped, she successfully wrestled tour away from the Friends of Castle Green, but then she didn't stop.

The funny things is I believe Marilyn loves the castle, she's come up from the basement to the tree trimming party every Christmas since I've been here, but now officially raised from the basement she could not be vanquished.

When she came on the board money had already been committed to sprinkler installation (due to the fire department's mafia like grip on the castle). On Feb's advice, Marilyn promoted the event office's administrative assistant to sprinkler installation management. Installation was done wrong and needed to be redone. It goes on to this day.

Outside our door, once the location of an antique cornice.

Next Marilyn focused on the wedding business, elevating it to primary recipient of the castle's remaining cash. She meant well, she told us at a board meeting that she was doing it for us. Whoring out our home as a wedding venue is a long castle tradition, not her invention. But she grew greedy.

She attempted to restrict residents’ use of the 1st floor when the wedding planner mentioned they were a distraction to potential brides.  It was about this time the young Victorian, who was serving as treasurer, began to question the board’s financial reports. Disagreeing with them, he offered his own, slipped in the night (or afternoon) under peoples doors. He soon felt Marilyn's wrath.  Having served his purpose on the board (providing Victorian credentials for the takeover of tour) she no longer needed him and initiated his recall. The recall was successful. With the newest member gone, only the weak and skyping members of the board were left and they seconded everything she said. I watched them do it.

Then it happened. She decided to make the castle "sparkle" (true words leaked to me 3rd hand).

The board slavishly granted her $50,000 to revamp the castle's first floor to "appeal to the modern bride".  Marilyn, in show, appointed a design committee based on whose findings she would blow the cash. The committee included none of the members of the old architectural committee, but did include the castle's wedding booker and her assistant. The only resident appointed to the committee was on the board and accustomed to seconding whatever Marilyn said, but at the initial design committee meeting she argued against the modernizing agenda. Having tried democracy but finding it necessary to abandon, Marilyn cancelled the next design committee meeting and went shopping. We are now $70,000 deep in modern bridal decor and still shopping.

Too little, too late.

Marilyn had long imagined herself an interior decorator. I found her profile on a decorating site, but it was self listed. But now armed with cash and  a world beyond her basement office, she went to town.

Her purchases:
•    An outdoor set from Target, with coordinating polka dot pillows
•    More bling for the chandelier
•    She went to a "design your own sofa" company, designed and ordered 2 custom polyester couches for the Salon. One broke the first day, to everyone's delight (see picture).
•    Gold painted flocking on the brides and ladies room walls for which the contractor apologized to the residents but said he needed the money.
•    Picture frames from Aaron brothers to replace the antique picture frames in the brides' room
•    A carpet to cover the Victorian tile in the lobby.
•    Sheer ballroom drapes direct from Bed, Bath and Beyond. They don't fit the windows so she hung the bars low. They and the drapes can be seen from outside the castle and appear to be a set of showers curtains.

Caution tape on upside down collapsed Salon sofa.

Then came the hardest blow, in violation of the promise to make no architectural changes to the castle Marilyn struck. No one saw it coming, not other members of the board, not Feb the building manager (I know, I wrote them and asked). She hired a friend of a friend to fix the crack in our ancient ballroom floor. They did a thorough cover up, applying unknown inorganic materials (similar to linoleum) and scraping deep into the castle's original cement between it, to give the impression of tile. Next they airbrushed it with a spotty finish to give it the appearance of age (only it resembles acid washed jeans), next they applied layer upon layer of sealant so the damage would remain in place.

In response to the resulting resident outcry, for finally, Allah be praised, there was one, she had the lines gauged in the original cement camouflaged with a stucco material, which she then had varnished for permanence as well. This is a picture of the "tiles" pre-stucco.

Weep, ye.

The flurry of emails was unprecedented. From the few on-site owners to the off-site owners who could be persuaded to come and look, they mourned the floor like biblical witnesses of old. They begged for a redo, or better yet an undo. They petitioned the city for a stop work order, which was given, but then rescinded when the city concluded the damage was permanent.

Through all this Marilyn bore on. In response to the criticism she responded, "It's a thankless task". I knew already that this was her understanding of the situation, that she was helping us against our stubborn will. When the building manager, an owner herself, rebelled, Marilyn put her in place by threatening her job. Then she bought her off by letting her make her own minimal more tasteful additions to the decor, so Feb is back in her court.

Unhappy residents or bored wedding guests scratched at the gold flocking on the walls. It came off in their fingernails. The polka dot pillows disappeared; I thought Marilyn bent to popular opinion and did it but then she issued a warrant for their return. Missing: ugly pillows. All this happened before I could execute my plan of donating them to Goodwill.

Marilyn blamed the collapsed polyester sofas on the building's residents, sending out a letter proclaiming vandalism and that we would all be made to pay. The response that came back at her was that she was the vandal, she had ruined our castle. Meanwhile in the upstairs hall the antique cornices were removed and wires left dangling, odd since we already passed fire inspection.

A few off site owners couldn't take it anymore and pledged themselves to run for the board. Leif, my husband, pledged himself, an ultimate sacrifice since he doesn't like to talk.

At the same time Marilyn showed her breasts (ok, probably a different inducement was used this time) to others of the owners, convincing them to run for the board as well. Feb, the building manager has established sway over the lazy uninformed owners' votes, but she has her job and her token decorating duties now so we can't count on her to rally the votes against Marilyn.

The polyester sofas are back in the Salon and we refuse to sit on them during the Thursday socials. We put our Pomeranians on the profoundly faux velvet to scratch it with their little toenails. Meanwhile, we wait for the vote.